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Rampage MLF Game April 2, 2011

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(Sorry it won't play on a Mac)



Duffer News

Toms Were Wild!

Robert Morris Rink
Neville Island, PA 3/18/2011 8:15 A.M.

Attendance: 28
Dan "Dave Hanson" Bylsma is a Hit!

The "Luck of the Irish" continued for the 2 Irish Toms and the Polish Tom. Tom O'Connor, Tom Morgan and  Tom Zagorski (assist to Beak) each scored a goal while Ron "Doc" Dubreuil and John Ragland each had a pair on the rookie goalie, Dan Smith, who was the only guy on the ice without a hangover.  Dan had the disadvantage of getting some counseling from The Anvil during the St. Patty Day Bus Ride.  Eddie told him, "Never go down, because you will have to get up and that ain't easy". 

Team Pittsburgh

The Whites could only get 2 goals past the hot Anvil, who had a pre Full Moon headache.  He gets them every month and swears that the beer, Bloody Marys, Crown Royal and Schlagernocker shots had nothing to do with the headache.  Tom "T&A Ambrosia tells me Steve Mazarella and one of Berserk's friends scored for the Whites.  That had to be either Larry "Goldie" Goldwater or Steve "Elmo" Anzelmo.  Dan Smith had a fine game stoning his Great Uncle Beak 3 times.  He flashed some fine leather and popped up after going into the butterfly.  He said the Duffers pass a lot more frequently than the high school guys that he faced all year.  Let me switch to the first person now.
I don't remember much of that game except trying to pull my foot out of my mouth after asking Penguin's Head Coach, Dan Bylsma, if he was Slap Shot Star, Dave Hanson, when he entered our locker roomCoach Bylsma looked to see if I had a seeing eye dog.  He said, "when you see Dave Hanson, you will know why I am insulted.  He is a lot older and a lot uglier".  After the first period, I tried to do a little back pedaling and told him he played pretty good for a coach and he told me that I played pretty good for a guy with 2 artificial hips.  I went on to explain that "Tony Granato told us that Dave Hanson wanted to play with us this morning and when you walked in, you looked like a movie star."  He said, "I'll accept that."  He imitated Klinger the next period and deflected a wide shot past his own goalie. (Welcome to the Duffers Dan Smith) Brinks was not able to score even though he did not have a hang over, but he forgot his contact lenses. 

Our Canadian Ringer, Leapin Lu Pinet sent the following report: 

Hey Beak, I got lucky and somehow squirted one past the kid on Friday.  A funny story I may not have told you: The Dave Hansen look alike (who's real identity I did not learn of until the NEXT day!!!!) got a little piffy with me after I tripped him for the second time, he started yapping me about F**n Canadians (Continued on Page 2 below)

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Our Lamers' Bus and the Igloo.

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and the way we goon our way through the game (read sad story of Matt Cooke into this eh?) So I told him; "shut the f up, we invented the game AND if you keep yapping I'll take my puck and go home then you'll look like a BIGGER A*hole and everyone will be pissed at you for ruining their fun". It IS better to be lucky than good as I have proven with ALL the feet I have laid in my mouth over the years!! God I'm happy the guy had a sense of humor! BUT: he WAS minus 4 including the one I potted and Tony was Plus 4!!! After the game, Tony gave us a great tour of the Consol Center, then we headed to the Casino, where Wheezer hit a jack pot that more than paid for his trip, even after he laid a C Note on the bus driver.  We had a great dinner at Milanos', where we had our own room with plenty of pitchers.  Tony and his wife joined in the fun.  He left when Lu started speaking French to his wife.  Tony recommended the place and it was a short down hill walk there and a long up hill walk home.

My Brother Herb had the time of his life and had the following quote when I called him on Blue Monday: "That guy Wheezer is really nice, but his son is a little rough around the edges."

Koss made the Alien laugh just when he took a big gulp of beer and he sprayed it all over my new Pittsburgh Spring Classic tee shirt.  Every one got a beautiful souvenir shirt, at the first Team Dinner at the Tailgater Bar on St. Patrick's Day.  ( Thanks to the efforts of Super Dave Sullivan) 

Romeoville, IL
3/18/2011 8:40 P.M.

Attendance: Record Low 15
Thanks to Fred for the following report of the Friday Night Home game:

There were only 2 subs on the White bench and the Reds only had 1. We still played 5 on 5 and it was a pretty good game considering.  So many guys were missing.  Red goals:  John "Cupcake" Bobka had an unusual goal.  He was behind the White net, looking to center a pass. He got a little too much of the puck and it went over the top of the net. It hit Stump in the shoulder, then The Brain in the head and fell behind him into the net. Not sure of the other 5.
White goals:  Thor 2, Magoo 2, Bill Conti, Jr. 3. One of Magoo's goals was pretty, as he raced over the Blue Line toward the guest goalie, he was able to avoid 2 defenders who were converging on him. One by simply out racing the defender, the other by faking right, then cutting left right down the slot. He beat the goalie with a nice clean wrist shot.   Thor brought beer for the old guys locker room. The young guys were on their own. Final score Whites 7, Reds 5 or 6.  This is all I can remember.   Fred

Isoplex Ice Arena
Canonsburg, PA
3/19/2011  6:40 P.M.

Attendance: 28

Saturday morning, we watched the Penguins go through a vigorous practice.  We had a Team Lunch at the Jay's Sports Bar after that.  Beak figured he could keep the meal under budget since no one would drink many beers with a 6:40 game coming up.  He was wrong $400 for food, $400 for beer.  "A drinking team with a hockey problem" fits this team well.  We had time for a short nap while Tomahawk missiles started intensive bombing of Libya.  The Duffers had 3 days of intensive bombing, before they rested on the quiet ride home after the Penguin-Ranger 

game, where we saw Matt Cooke elbow the head of a Ranger.  He was disqualified from the game, then suspended well into the play offs. Scoring started quickly in our Saturday night game. Beak responded well to the short nap when he slipped in behind Steve "Rembrandt" Granato and parked next to the net.  Polish Tommy cut into the high slot, causing Rembrandt to step up and take his shot away.  TZ flipped a perfect pass that Beak fired high into the net, giving the Reds a 1-0 lead just 25 seconds into the game.  The score stayed that way well into the second period and Dan Smith and The Anvil made many great saves.  The T&A started to talk it up on the bench, saying, "We can't have the Anvil get a 1-0 shut out win with Beak getting the winning goal on the biggest full Moon in many years".   His pep talk worked immediately as Brinks  (Continued on Page 3)

The Mazarella had 2 fine games, Papa Joe hit the post on Friday and Steve scored one that  his brother  set up for him.

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(Now with contact lenses) took a pass from T&A and tied the score to start a flood of goals.  Tom Morgan made a rush and scored his 3rd goal of the trip.  He followed that up with another goal that led him to e-mail Beak and say "Thanks for everything Beak. Currently suffering from T.U.R.D.

(Tremendous Urge to Return to the Duffers)

The Whites answered with another goal by Brinks that was set up by cousin Steve.  TZ made it 4-2, but Rembrandt made it Reds 4, Granatos 3 on a pass from Brinks.  Berserk scored and then his grown up nephew Ted Hack gave the Reds a semi comfortable lead until Steve's traveling

These 2 mad scientists were brewing up some Bloody Marys at 9:00 A.M.

partner, Sam rammed one in.  Mini Wheezer (Who is not Wheezer's Son) added a meaningless goal to give the Reds a double header win. 

After reading Lu Pinet's account of his encounter with Coach Bylsma,  Beak gave all of the Team Pittsburgh members a written assignment.  Tom Morgan was the first to turn in his assignment.

Sharing a taxi van with Doc and Eddie to Southland/Southpark/? on Sat. night.  Our driver's from Trinidad, and we ask him how many people live in Pittsburgh.  The guy said he tried counting one time but lost track. Eddie gives one of his looks but shows respect and doesn't rip the guy.  We get out on a narrow street, and Eddie slams the door into a parked car. I said, 'Eddie, you just slammed your door into that car.' Eddie goes 'where?' I show him just as the cops pull up behind and nail us for open container. The cop asks where we're from and if they allow open container on the streets of Chicago. Once again Eddie gives an Eddie look, then answers respectfully, but the thought bubble above his head said 'next time ask if they allow open container on the streets of Chicago, SIR.'  Thankfully for Doc and I the interlocketer between Eddie's brain and mouth was functioning properly on Saturday night, saving us a night in jail.

This is the beauty of Duffer stories, every one there had different memories.  Another witness said Eddie said, "Sorry sir, we didn't know the rules."  When I heard this, I was happy that I didn't have to make one more call to Tony for another favor.  "Tony, who do you know in the Pittsburgh Police Department?  Our Goalie is in jail"
I'll be posting pictures for several weeks, so send me your favorites please.

These giant chocolate chip cookies were baked by Eddie's wife for us.  Thanks Sue!

I hope this is not the look that Tom Morgan was talking about

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Friday morning we played in the Robert Morris Rink.   Penguin Head Coach Dan Bylsma (Far left) played for the White team and his assistant coach, Tony Granato played for the Red team. (Kneeling far left)

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We played in the Penguin's practice rink on Saturday night.  Do I have to tell you why we call the guy in the White jersey who is in the all Red section Alien.  Thanks to Rags and Doc's camera for these team pictures.

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Our tour of the Consol Energy Center. (Photo by Tony Granato)

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Front row left to right.  Steve Mazz, Doc, Papa Joe, T&A, TO, Lu, Brinks, Alien, Tony G, Harvey

Row 2: Koss (On post) Berserk, Steve A, Goldie, Mini Wheezer, TZ, Grandpa Ken, Darrien. Anvil, Dan Smith and  Beak's Brother Herb

Row 3: Cowboy Joe, Wheezer, Ted Hack, Tom Morgan, Beak, Joe Ambrosia, Rags, Tennessee Rags, Joe Evans, Bob Granato, and Tom Kay

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Tony Granato loves goalies

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Dan Smith is all smiles in Sid Crosby's dressing room stall

(Right) Dan Smith, (Herb Lopatka's grandson) was recruited at the New Year's Day Duffer skate, when we couldn't get a goalie to commit to the Pittsburgh trip.  Dan begged his Mom for a month until she finally sent a check.  He played great and had the time of his life.

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Tony asked me to pull out a protein shake mix that the players drink.  I don't remember what I said, but Papa Joe is losing it.  (Left)

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Go to the Last Duffer News

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The Rampage Women's Hockey Team has a new web site at: http://www.rampagehockey.org/index.cfm

2011 game is on April 2 at 7:00. 

They now have 2 WODs and a DOD on their team.

WOD=Wife Of a Duffer DOD = Daughter of a Duffer

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