Pittsburgh 2011, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5

The Whites could only get 2 goals past the hot Anvil, who had a pre Full Moon headache.  He gets them every month and swears that the beer, Bloody Marys, Crown Royal and Schlagernocker shots had nothing to do with the headache.  Tom "T&A Ambrosia tells me Steve Mazarella and one of Berserk's friends scored for the Whites.  That had to be either Larry "Goldie" Goldwater or Steve "Elmo" Anzelmo.  Dan Smith had a fine game stoning his Great Uncle Beak 3 times.  He flashed some fine leather and popped up after going into the butterfly.  He said the Duffers pass a lot more frequently than the high school guys that he faced all year.  Let me switch to the first person now.
I don't remember much of that game except trying to pull my foot out of my mouth after asking Penguin's Head Coach, Dan Bylsma, if he was Slap Shot Star, Dave Hanson, when he entered our locker room.  Coach Bylsma looked to see if I had a seeing eye dog.  He said, "when you see Dave Hanson, you will know why I am insulted.  He is a lot older and a lot uglier".  After the first period, I tried to do a little back pedaling and told him he played pretty good for a coach and he told me that I played pretty good for a guy with 2 artificial hips.  I went on to explain that "Tony Granato told us that Dave Hanson wanted to play with us this morning and when you walked in, you looked like a movie star."  He said, "I'll accept that."  He imitated Klinger the next period and deflected a wide shot past his own goalie. (Welcome to the Duffers Dan Smith) Brinks was not able to score even though he did not have a hang over, but he forgot his contact lenses. 

Hey Beak, I got lucky and somehow squirted one past the kid on Friday.  A funny story I may not have told you: The Dave Hansen look alike (who's real identity I did not learn of until the NEXT day!!!!) got a little piffy with me after I tripped him for the second time, he started yapping me about F**n Canadians (Continued on Page 2 below)

and the way we goon our way through the game (read sad story of Matt Cooke into this eh?) So I told him; "shut the f up, we invented the game AND if you keep yapping I'll take my puck and go home then you'll look like a BIGGER A*hole and everyone will be pissed at you for ruining their fun". It IS better to be lucky than good as I have proven with ALL the feet I have laid in my mouth over the years!! God I'm happy the guy had a sense of humor! BUT: he WAS minus 4 including the one I potted and Tony was Plus 4!!! After the game, Tony gave us a great tour of the Consol Center, then we headed to the Casino, where Wheezer hit a jack pot that more than paid for his trip, even after he laid a C Note on the bus driver.  We had a great dinner at Milanos', where we had our own room with plenty of pitchers.  Tony and his wife joined in the fun.  He left when Lu started speaking French to his wife.  Tony recommended the place and it was a short down hill walk there and a long up hill walk home.

Koss made the Alien laugh just when he took a big gulp of beer and he sprayed it all over my new Pittsburgh Spring Classic tee shirt.  Every one got a beautiful souvenir shirt, at the first Team Dinner at the Tailgater Bar on St. Patrick's Day.  ( Thanks to the efforts of Super Dave Sullivan) 

Romeoville, IL
3/18/2011 8:40 P.M.
Attendance: Record Low 15
Thanks to Fred for the following report of the Friday Night Home game:

There were only 2 subs on the White bench and the Reds only had 1. We still played 5 on 5 and it was a pretty good game considering.  So many guys were missing.  Red goals:  John "Cupcake" Bobka had an unusual goal.  He was behind the White net, looking to center a pass. He got a little too much of the puck and it went over the top of the net. It hit Stump in the shoulder, then The Brain in the head and fell behind him into the net. Not sure of the other 5.
White goals:  Thor 2, Magoo 2, Bill Conti, Jr. 3. One of Magoo's goals was pretty, as he raced over the Blue Line toward the guest goalie, he was able to avoid 2 defenders who were converging on him. One by simply out racing the defender, the other by faking right, then cutting left right down the slot. He beat the goalie with a nice clean wrist shot.   Thor brought beer for the old guys locker room. The young guys were on their own. Final score Whites 7, Reds 5 or 6.  This is all I can remember.   Fred

Isoplex Ice Arena
Canonsburg, PA
3/19/2011  6:40 P.M.
Attendance: 28

Saturday morning, we watched the Penguins go through a vigorous practice.  We had a Team Lunch at the Jay's Sports Bar after that.  Beak figured he could keep the meal under budget since no one would drink many beers with a 6:40 game coming up.  He was wrong $400 for food, $400 for beer.  "A drinking team with a hockey problem" fits this team well.  We had time for a short nap while Tomahawk missiles started intensive bombing of Libya.  The Duffers had 3 days of intensive bombing, before they rested on the quiet ride home after the Penguin-Ranger 

game, where we saw Matt Cooke elbow the head of a Ranger.  He was disqualified from the game, then suspended well into the play offs. Scoring started quickly in our Saturday night game. Beak responded well to the short nap when he slipped in behind Steve "Rembrandt" Granato and parked next to the net.  Polish Tommy cut into the high slot, causing Rembrandt to step up and take his shot away.  TZ flipped a perfect pass that Beak fired high into the net, giving the Reds a 1-0 lead just 25 seconds into the game.  The score stayed that way well into the second period and Dan Smith and The Anvil made many great saves.  The T&A started to talk it up on the bench, saying, "We can't have the Anvil get a 1-0 shut out win with Beak getting the winning goal on the biggest full Moon in many years".   His pep talk worked immediately as Brinks  (Continued on Page 3)

(Now with contact lenses) took a pass from T&A and tied the score to start a flood of goals.  Tom Morgan made a rush and scored his 3rd goal of the trip.  He followed that up with another goal that led him to e-mail Beak and say "Thanks for everything Beak. Currently suffering from T.U.R.D.

(Tremendous Urge to Return to the Duffers)

The Whites answered with another goal by Brinks that was set up by cousin Steve.  TZ made it 4-2, but Rembrandt made it Reds 4, Granatos 3 on a pass from Brinks.  Berserk scored and then his grown up nephew Ted Hack gave the Reds a semi comfortable lead until Steve's traveling

partner, Sam rammed one in.  Mini Wheezer (Who is not Wheezer's Son) added a meaningless goal to give the Reds a double header win. 

After reading Lu Pinet's account of his encounter with Coach Bylsma,  Beak gave all of the Team Pittsburgh members a written assignment.  Tom Morgan was the first to turn in his assignment.

Sharing a taxi van with Doc and Eddie to Southland/Southpark/? on Sat. night.  Our driver's from Trinidad, and we ask him how many people live in Pittsburgh.  The guy said he tried counting one time but lost track. Eddie gives one of his looks but shows respect and doesn't rip the guy.  We get out on a narrow street, and Eddie slams the door into a parked car. I said, 'Eddie, you just slammed your door into that car.' Eddie goes 'where?' I show him just as the cops pull up behind and nail us for open container. The cop asks where we're from and if they allow open container on the streets of Chicago. Once again Eddie gives an Eddie look, then answers respectfully, but the thought bubble above his head said 'next time ask if they allow open container on the streets of Chicago, SIR.'  Thankfully for Doc and I the interlocketer between Eddie's brain and mouth was functioning properly on Saturday night, saving us a night in jail.

This is the beauty of Duffer stories, every one there had different memories.  Another witness said Eddie said, "Sorry sir, we didn't know the rules."  When I heard this, I was happy that I didn't have to make one more call to Tony for another favor.  "Tony, who do you know in the Pittsburgh Police Department?  Our Goalie is in jail"
I'll be posting pictures for several weeks, so send me your favorites please.

These giant chocolate chip cookies were baked by Eddie's wife for us.  Thanks Sue!