DUFFER     NEWS

VOLUME I, Issue 1

APRIL 1994

Bill's Burrittos **   Shaving Cream ***  Beer Slide**
Swim Suits*
Top 10 Excuses**           Harvey Can Drive **$100.00 Tattoo

REMEMBER 1970? My son Tweedy doesn't. That is the year the Duffers started to assemble. Frank and Beak are looking for articles from Duffers and family members that will help us create the Duffer Silver Anniversary History Book.
We will keep you informed with this Newsletter. If the title is Greek to you, that's good. Spyros translates DUFFER NEWS  as DUFFER NEWS.
Duffers Lose Beer Drinking Contest
The Duffers needed help on their recent Hayward road trip.They can't drink like they used to. They lost the Beer Drinking Trophy by 22 Beers to a young bunch of hockey players and their girl friends. Boris could have put us over the top.

Lake Placid, Detroit, Dubuque, Reno, St. Petersberg,    Madison, Minocqua!
Do these places stir some memories? We would like to hear  about them. How about the most unforgettable Duffer you have ever  met. Do you remember your first game? Memorable jokes, games or performances. These are just a few of the things you can  report to us.  Jot them down, and send them to Frank or Beak. We need them now for the Silver Anniversary History Book.*

"I almost forgot how much fun a road trip can be"

Nobody noticed, nobody cared.
We went to the rink to watch Dan's team.  They were too fast.  We looked at the score board and found we were 30 beers behind in the beer contest. We went to work, and soon had a safe lead. Dan's team won, so we went back to the motel and took a nap. Before I knew what happened, it was game time, and we all felt like crap!  You are probably wondering how we beat those young Muskies. I left out one small detail on the sport page.  One of Dan's friends helped out a little.  Joel Troje scored 4 or 5 meaningless goals. 
With the win in our pocket, it was time to party.  We were shocked to find out when we got upstairs that we were 145 beers behind in the contest. We tried our best, but we were badly out numbered. Those stupid kids brought their girl friends and wives on a road trip.What were they thinking?
Stories were flowing faster than the beer. By 1:00 A.M. the the young players were fighting with their women.  They were now getting cut off, (from the beer that is) and we were back in the race.There was more beer on the floor than in the keg. A beer slide contest broke out.  By 2 O'Clock we were ready to eat. We soon found out there were no White Castles in Cheeseland, so we

DUFFER STORM (CONTINUED)

cussed the shaving cream and whoever put it there, then went to breakfast.

About 11:00 A.M. while we were laughing our way through breakfast, Wheezer  took the van keys and filled the hockey gloves of Dan and Joel  with shaving cream. 
We all packed up and went sight seeing and picture taking.  We took a group photo in front of the world's largest fish.  One van went to the rink and the other went to the casino. Dan had to play in the championship game at 2:00 O'Clock.  We couldn't wait to see Dan handle the puck with his slippery glove.  It worked.  Dan muffed the first pass,and sent his friend to get a different glove. Ken told Dan not to mess with the Wheezer.Now he has seen the light.  He believes.
The trip home was uneventful Thank God!  One McDonalds stop, watched a few movies and played Nintendo. Then I thought about getting a $100.dollar bill tattoo. I laughed my self to sleep. That wouldn't work, would it?

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went to a gas station with  a microwave.We downed some hamburgers and things. It looked like a scene from Animal House. By the time we got to the register, all we had were wrappers. Jiffy fell in love with their Burrittos and took one to go.
As we were leaving, a D.U.I. bust was taking place in the lot. We decided to leave the vans and walk home. Harvey was asleep at the wheel, so when we woke him up, he wanted to drive. He said, "I can drive, I didn't eat anything"
On our way back to the motel, a Snowball fight broke out. Yes, there was a foot of snow on the ground.( Those of you looking for the weather section, this is it.) I went straight to bed, turning down a night cap in the Stars'   room. (Stump &Berserk) 
They didn't want this night to end. Bill, Tom, Dan, John, Ken, and Joel still hadn't had enough, so they went to party with the stars. They were on the floor below us, but it sounded like they were next door. Jiffy was sitting in the corner clutching his now cold burritto laughing and keeping the neighbors up.  He didn't care about the noise, because 6 hours earlier he was disturbed during his pre-game nap, and he vowed he'd get even. These kids today have no respect, keeping people up at 6:00 P.M.
I got a call at 3:00 A.M. All I heard was laughter, so I hung up, and went back to sleep. The

phone rang again, this time it was Morgan. "You've got to get down here, you're missing the time of your life!" That got me.  Ever since Lake Placid, when I fell asleep on the train ride home, I have this fear of missing a memorable Duffer moment. What I didn't know was that the first time Morgan called me, he got an ear full of shaving cream, and he threw the phone across the room. When the 6 foot coiled cord reached the end, it came back to get him.  The room was rocked with laughter.  When I arrived they begged me to call Harvey.  I did, and I got an ear full of cream. The guy next door was pleading for an end to the nonsense, as the laughter grew.  Bill almost dropped his burritto.  Dan and Tom went upstairs to get Wheezer because his phone was off the hook. They found him sound asleep in a fetal position with a bag of Doritos.  They called in a 6 A.M. wake up call and creamed his phone.  Dan's big brother warned him not to mess with the Wheezer, but he didn't listen. They left Wheezer and headed for Harvey's room and creamed his phone. When Harvey answered the phone, he was so tired he didn't even notice the cream all over his hair and ear. He went back to sleep until I came back to the room with Tom and Dan.  We got him up to take a picture.  He never knew.  Not even in the morning when he combed his hair. Wheezer got his wake up call and thanked the girl because he was hungry. He

Here are the Guys that beat that young Hayward team. (Left to Right) Stump, Beak, Koss, Butt Head, Beak Jr. Harvey, Berserk, Joel, Wheezer and Klinger.