Page 2 Thanks to Agi for these Quotes

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."

___ Regis Philbin

"The French are a smallish, monkey_looking bunch and not dressed any better, on average, than the citizens of Baltimore. True, you can sit outside in Paris and drink little cups of coffee, but why this is more stylish than sitting inside and drinking large glasses of whiskey I don't know."

___ P.J O'Rourke (1989)

"You know, the French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who was still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn't have the face for it

___John McCain, U.S. Senator from Arizona

"You know why the French don't want to bomb Saddam Hussein? Because he hates America, he loves mistresses and wears a beret. He is French, people."

__Conan O'Brien

"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!"

___Jay Leno

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag

__David Letterman
How many Frenchmen does it take to change a light bulb?

One. He holds the bulb and all of Europe revolves around him.

Next time there's a war in Europe, the loser has to keep France.

"TRYING TO HELP" by Dennis Miller
All the rhetoric on whether or not we should go to war against Iraq has got my little brain spinning like a top. I enjoy reading opinions from both sides, but I've detected a hint of confusion from some of you. Maybe this can help.  As I was reading the paper recently, I was reminded of the best advice anyone ever gave me. She told me about the "KISS" method ("Keep It Simple, Stupid!"). So with this as a theme, I'd like to apply this theory for those who don't quite get it. My hope is that we can simplify things and recognize a few important facts.Here are ten things to consider when voicing an opinion on this important issue:

1. Between President Bush and Saddam Hussein ... SADDAM is the bad guy.
   
2. (2) If you have faith in the United Nations to do the right things, keep this in mind: RIGHT NOW, the UN has Libya heading the Committee on Human Rights and Iraq heading the Global Disarmament Committee. Do your own math.
   
3. (3) If you use a Google or Yahoo search and type in "French Military Victories," don't be surprised if your computer panics at its inability to respond to your inquiry.
   
4. (4) If your only anti-war slogan is "No War For Oil," hire a pit bull lawyer and sue your school district for having allowed you to slip through the cracks and robbing you of the minimum education that any non-troglodyte deserves
   
5. (5) You can take this one to the bank: Saddam and bin Laden will NOT seek UN approval before they kill us.
   
6. (6) Despite common belief among some, Martin Sheen is NOT the President. He only plays one on TV.
   
7. (7) If you are anti-war and even an outright "America Basher"; to bin Laden you are still an "infidel" he wants dead.
   
8. (8) Be careful: if you believe in a "vast right-wing conspiracy," but not in the danger that SADDAM poses, the only job you may be able to get is as an Ivy League college professor.
   
9. (9) Even multi-culturalists who try to browbeat us into believing that all cultures are equally deserving of respect have trouble explaining the past 500 years of Islam.
   
10. (10) Whether you are for or against military action, our young men and women overseas are fighting to defend our right to speak out on these issues. They deserve our complete support.