"A Drinking Team with a Hockey Problem"      Visit the Beak Web Page:  http://www.lopatka.net

See Complaints  on page 2

Bolingbrook, IL 10/22/04

Attendance 20  Report by Beak

Friday, November 26th we will leave the Cracker Barrel on Weber Rd. and I-55 at 9:30 AM on Friday morning.  The following players are on the Peoria Roster:  Stump, Seattle Vidas, Wheezer, Nailer, Harvey, Doc, Klinger, Brinks, Anvil, Hitman, The Flea, Tweedy, Jay, Beak, Blue Balls, Mini Wheezer, Hacksaw, Knarf, Rich Storm, Draino, and Tommy Z (baby permitting.)  Looks like we have to go to Peoria to get 3 lines.

at Bonos this week.  We had a test viewing last week and the Videos looked great on that Screen.

Complaint Department

The Best Advice I've Ever Received*

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes
age, weight and height. Let the doctor worry about
them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.  Duffers are mostly Cheerful!

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer,
crafts, gardening, Hockey, whatever. Never let the brain idle, "An idle mind is the devil's workshop," the devil's name is Depression.

4. Enjoy the simple things. When the children are
young, that is all that you can afford. When they
are in college, that is all that you can afford.
When you are on retirement, that is all that you can afford.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp
for breath. Laugh so much that you can be tracked in the store by your distinctive laughter.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is
ourselves. Be alive while you are alive; don't put
out a mailbox on the highway of death and just wait
in residence for your mail.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it
is family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
Hockey, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health. If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what
you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.  Go on road trips, Go to the mall, the next county, a foreign country, but not to guilt country.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at
every opportunity; and always remember . . . "Life
is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away." My breath gets taken away every Friday.
*I think I got this from that crabby guy on 60 Minutes
It was posted on our website after Thanksgiving 2002.
http://www.lopatka.net/12-06-02/index.html

I never could have held a job in a complaint department, because complaints usually crack me up and It is hard to look concerned when you are laughing.  I don't like to complain, unless I can make someone laugh, but I decided to vent my pent up disappointment with the Duffer Family.  We have always been a fun loving group that looks forward to Friday night.  My 64.75 year old hip has been grinding me to a halt lately, when I ask it to skate 45 minutes each Friday.  Our defensemen had to skate 60 minutes per game, because we have only had 3 on each team lately.  Hockey was designed to have 3 lines, so you could skate for 1 minute, then have 2 minutes to tell or listen to semi-true stories on the bench.  3 lines gives my hip 15 minutes more rest per game.  We have only had 3 lines once this year and I think it might be time to get some new life, like we did when we added the NYPDs (New Young Polite Duffers).  We have recently lost some key Duffers, some have been injured, some have moved out of the state, I think one even returned to his home planet.  Some married women that were not blessed with the Duffer wife gene.   When that gene is missing, they like to go out with their husbands on Friday nights.  I don't know if there is a cure that will help get these fun loving Duffers back.  Maybe group counseling with wives like Ericka and Cheryl, could help them find out that Fridays can be more fun without their husbands.  We have lost some Duffers to retirement and one went off to war, you can expect that and understand that, but what I can't understand is the guys that we lost to the couch and remote control.  Remember the movie, "Being There"?  Chauncy Gardner was so in love with the TV remote that he lost touch with the world.  It is time to clean house and find some good Duffers, who will pay their dues, show up on Fridays and go on road trips.  Maybe the King could come back and interview the applicants to see if they are worthy of the Duffer sweater.  If you can't get off the couch until

the evening news is over, why don't you come over to Bonos.  We will be showing some Duffer videos on the big screen starting this week.  The infamous Sam Adams Peoria trip will be shown first, followed by San Jose highlights of the Beer Nuts' blow up doll.  Next week we'll have Hayward and Peoria 2001.