Duffer Hockey News for January 24, 2003

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	"A Drinking Team with a Hockey Problem" Visit the Beak Web Page: http://www.lopatka.net


	January 24, 2003 ReportersCammi GranatoRich StormVolume IX Issue 04**

Bolingbrook, IL
January 17, 2003

Attendance 26


	Duffer Streaks


	The Duffer goalies, Brian "The Brain" and Gary "The Ghost" put on a show Friday night as each net minder traded one spectacular save after another. Only a great move by Brinks enabled him to give the Whites a 1-0 meaningful win. The Meaningless contest was not decided as easily and the outcome was debated at Bonos until closing time. Beak poked a break out pass, past a pinching Fruit Cake that sprung his son Ken for a break away goal. Zag Nuts gave the Whites their third goal. The Reds answered with goals by Rich Storm, King Kong and Mini Wheezer. To give us a tie game late into the contest when Kong beat the Ghost for an apparent game winner. That all changed when Mr. Clean, sporting a Florida sun tan, fired a shot into the Brain's skates, where it rattled around until Beak Jr. poked it in for a disputed game tying goal. The Brain said that the whistle should have blown and killed the play. When that didn't float, someone said Magoo pushed Ken


	Beak Jr. tells the Brain how he poked in the tying goal in the closing minutes. The Brain tells him it was frozen and the whistle should have blown.


	off side and the whistle should have blown. Many beers later, the outcome of the game was still in doubt at closing time.


	The King announced his retirement after the game as he was chasing payments. He said he will turn the books over at the end of the year. Who will be the next King?


	Tech Buzz is back and ready to answer your computer questions. Nobody has sent him a question. Could it be that his e-mail address is too long bpavichevich@attbi.com

After all of these beers, the outcome of the game still wasn't decided.

Klinger and Beak Jr. discuss forgings and other hard topics, while Mini and Maxi empty a basket of food.

Duffer Goalies Gary "The Ghost" Kasper and Brian "The Brain" Opalka shared a beer after they each turned in a brilliant game in the nets. Have they discovered Braille goaltending? Return to the Top

Braille Goaltending

The following is a reprint from a 1978 Duffer Newsletter:

Did you ever hit Stump with a screen shot and hear his reply when you yell, "You never saw it!" He laughs and says, "I didn't have to, you hit me!"
Here is a reprint from a pre computer, 1978 Duffer News, when Stump was a twig.
Dear Duffer Advisor,
I hear rumors that Stump and Slime Dog are going to open up a goalie school using the Braille Method of goaltending. Please tell me, what in the world is Braille Goaltending?
Dilated Duffer
Dear Dilated,
The Braille method of goaltending was named after Louis Braille (1852) teacher of the blind. Braille goaltending was developed exclusively by Slime Dog and Stump under very controlled conditions. Normally, vision is a very important part of goaltending. Duffer goalies have had to adapt, because Duffer defensemen always back their 4 foot high rear ends into the 4 foot high goalies. thus removing all of the advantages of vision. Their nasal passages are also rendered inoperative, so all they have left is hearing, touch and taste. They listen for the slap of wood against rubber, flinch and wait for the feel or taste of the puck. Once this happens, they must react quickly to try to grab the rebound before one of those lecherous forwards bangs it in. Braille goaltending usually fails after 3 rebounds.

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Las Vegas Schedule
Thursday - January 30, 2003
American Airlines Flight 1779
Depart O'Hare - 9:14 am
Arrive Las Vegas - 11:17 am
Bus to Hotel
Santa Fe Station Hotel - Casino
4949 N. Rancho Rd.
Las Vegas NV 89130
702-658-4900
Check-in and lunch
On your own
Friday - January 31, 2003
Ice time 10:45 to 12:15
Lunch at the Hotel
On your own
Saturday - February 1, 2003
Ice time 10: 15 to 11:45
Lunch at the Hotel
On your own
Sunday - February 2, 2003
Lunch at the Hotel
American Airlines Flight 1794
Depart Las Vegas - 5:20 pm
Arrive O'Hare - 10:45 pm